[ she doesn't yell, but dorothy's voice is definitely raised. he's not wrong: she runs when she's scared. when someone gets close enough that their leaving could hurt her. it's easier to be the first to leave instead.
she'd tried that and sylvie hadn't let her. lucas had offered her a better way and she'd taken it. she hadn't run - and he'd chosen glinda.
but at the rest of his words, the fight that had been brewing goes out of her again. ]
I don't want you to die for me. [ for anyone.
she could tell him - again - that he tries to kill her. that he chose glinda and it went so far that he almost killed her. ] One of the last things you said to me was you wished I'd never happened to you. [ is what comes out instead. bitter. ]
[ But he can't ask her to separate the two. Maybe there's no way of doing it. Maybe they'll be always be connected, one not being able to live without the other.
His heart breaks as the last of what she says. ]
I don't know why I'd say that... That's the last thing I'd think about saying to you. I'm a better person because of you.
[ dorothy shrugs, the gesture ending with her shoulders curled inward a little protectively. she can face down monsters no problem, but this? this scares her. how much she wants to believe him. how much it hurt to lose him.
and forever that little voice in her head telling her that there must be something wrong with her, that she must be unlovable if even her mother gave her up. ]
I'm not a good person. I put you back on a cross. [ by her side, toto whines quietly. ]
[ maybe it's why she's selfish or conflicted, but not good.
he takes his hand away so she could open the door and leave. for a moment, she doesn't. for a moment, she stays right where she is, not quite looking at lucas but entirely aware of his proximity and of the colours of him. ]
[ just his name. meant as a warning, but it comes out a little awkward instead. almost embarrassed. touched, too, even though she doesn't want to be. ]
[ Ah, so he still has that effect on her, then. He'd feel guiltier about this conversation in terms of his wife if it wasn't for the fact that he felt like she was married to a completely different person separate from him. ]
Dorothy... If Glinda showed up here, I promise you, I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. [ By choosing her. ] Wife or not, I'm loyal to you.
[ he very much still has that effect on her, despite everything. even the memory of his hands around her neck and how terrified she'd been doesn't really do much to lessen the effect. not when he looks at her like that.
but - ]
You don't know that. One kiss, and you'd remember being Roan again.
[ dorothy is better suited to action, to doing something -- even if her doing something often has worse effects. maybe this is better, but leaving it up to chance feels wrong. ]
Let's.
[ a beat, before she nods, more to herself than to lucas. ] Bye, Lucas.
[ He did wonder when she was going to leave after telling him to let her out. Now she's finally going, he doesn't want her to - wants to mention the second bedroom in the apartment she probably wouldn't be comfortable taking anyway - but all he says is: ]
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♥
[ They haven't known each other for long but he seems to know what she's guilty of doing when she's scared. ]
Do you think that was planned for me too? To fight the war? To die for Glinda?
[ Somewhat softer: ] I'd die for you. Not her. [ He doesn't know her, not the way he knows Dorothy. ]
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[ she doesn't yell, but dorothy's voice is definitely raised. he's not wrong: she runs when she's scared. when someone gets close enough that their leaving could hurt her. it's easier to be the first to leave instead.
she'd tried that and sylvie hadn't let her. lucas had offered her a better way and she'd taken it. she hadn't run - and he'd chosen glinda.
but at the rest of his words, the fight that had been brewing goes out of her again. ]
I don't want you to die for me. [ for anyone.
she could tell him - again - that he tries to kill her. that he chose glinda and it went so far that he almost killed her. ] One of the last things you said to me was you wished I'd never happened to you. [ is what comes out instead. bitter. ]
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[ But he can't ask her to separate the two. Maybe there's no way of doing it. Maybe they'll be always be connected, one not being able to live without the other.
His heart breaks as the last of what she says. ]
I don't know why I'd say that... That's the last thing I'd think about saying to you. I'm a better person because of you.
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and forever that little voice in her head telling her that there must be something wrong with her, that she must be unlovable if even her mother gave her up. ]
I'm not a good person. I put you back on a cross. [ by her side, toto whines quietly. ]
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From what you've told me, I belong on a cross more than I do in your world.
[ After a moment: ] Once that prison is built... Maybe it would be best I turn myself in.
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I don't want you to.
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And that is why you're a good person.
[ He takes his hand away from the door, allowing her to open it and leave like she wanted to. ]
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[ maybe it's why she's selfish or conflicted, but not good.
he takes his hand away so she could open the door and leave. for a moment, she doesn't. for a moment, she stays right where she is, not quite looking at lucas but entirely aware of his proximity and of the colours of him. ]
You know, you don't need to protect me.
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You saved my life. It's the least I can do.
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[ she crosses her arms. ]
Don't tell me you're not having trouble getting used to all this.
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[ Probably not what she meant, but there we go. ]
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Lucas -
[ just his name. meant as a warning, but it comes out a little awkward instead. almost embarrassed. touched, too, even though she doesn't want to be. ]
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Dorothy... If Glinda showed up here, I promise you, I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. [ By choosing her. ] Wife or not, I'm loyal to you.
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but - ]
You don't know that. One kiss, and you'd remember being Roan again.
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She'd have to kill me before I let her do that.
[ It's funny because he was so desperate to know himself, but now... He'd do whatever it takes to erase everything. ]
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[ seeking refuge in sarcasm. so either she'll lose him to glinda or she'll lose him to death. ]
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You'd rather I kiss her?
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[ That's all they can do: hope. ]
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[ dorothy is better suited to action, to doing something -- even if her doing something often has worse effects. maybe this is better, but leaving it up to chance feels wrong. ]
Let's.
[ a beat, before she nods, more to herself than to lucas. ] Bye, Lucas.
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Bye, Dorothy.
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